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Ensign Kathryn Mayes entered her quarters wearily. Taking a good look from where she was standing, she noticed that everything was very quiet.
"Dammit, dammit, DAMMIT!" Furiously making her way towards a glass object, Kathryn grasped the figurine with intensity and then threw it with as much force as she had within her.
A man with dark hair and a handsome face entered the room. "What do you think you're doing, Kathryn?"
The discouraged girl turned and faced the other person in the room. "What the hell? I thought you were on duty!"
"Well, obviously I'm not. I'm on duty in about ten minutes. Noticing the broken glass, his eyes switched to looking at the table with his numerous knickknacks. "You broke my glass elephant!"
"I'll replicate another one if it'll make you happy." A long moment of silence brought the petite girl to laughter. "Isn't this just the slightest bit awkward?"
The only reaction Kathryn received was a stare of confusion.
"Brian..." She pointed at the towel he was wearing. The only thing he was wearing.
Finally understanding what his roommate meant, Brian laughed along with her, but mostly out of embarrassment. "Oh...well, I'll go back...and um...change." He managed to turn and walk away without tearing his hair out or strangling Kathryn for breaking his elephant.
"Hm. Okay." Ensign Mayes sighed and let herself fall into the couch like a rag doll.
Yelling from the room he was in, Brian asked "So what's made you so mad today?"
"Do I really have to talk about it?"
"Yes."
"B-R-I-A-N..."
"Tell me, or I'll report your insane behavior to Counselor To Pherei!"
Brian heard his roommate growl. He knew she was angry at him, but even only a couple months of living with this woman made him a different person. Sure, he was still pretty shy, but now he was learning to talk to people more, particularly Kathryn. Forcing her into talking about her problems was the only way she wouldn't beat him to death.
"This is a very stupid problem, Brian. It's nothing, I swear."
"If it's such an insignificant thing, then why did you come into our quarters cursing the universe?"
"Because it's so stupid! I can't believe I'm so mad over this! I might as well be a Klingon with my temper."
"What is it, Kathryn?" Now in his uniform, he made his way to the couch and crashed into it beside the redhead already there.
"The holodeck is full tonight and I couldn't make a reservation."
*Yes, that is VERY stupid,* Brian said in his thoughts. *Remember, however, that this is Kathryn. She's angry over everything.* "What's the importance of being on the holodeck tonight?"
"Is it any of your business?"
"Unless it's something private-"
"OK, I'll tell you!" With as much dignity as she could muster, she told Brian of her postponed plan. "I was going to bungy."
"What?"
"Bungy jumping. Haven't you ever heard of it before?"
"Of course I've heard of it. I'm just surprised that you of all people do it."
"Why?"
"Oh, it doesn't matter. Anyway, I do have some holodeck time reserved. I didn't have bungy jumping planned, but maybe you'd like joining me in what I had in mind."
"What is that?"
"Well, if you like bungy jumping, you'll love rock climbing."
Kathryn smiled for the first time that day. "You're on. I've always wanted to try that."
Brian smiled back. "Meet me on holodeck two at 1900 hours."
"I'll see you there."
Standing up, he commented "I'd better start moving. Duty shift starts in five minutes. See you later."
"Bye, Brian."
Tonight would definitely be something to look forward to.
At approximately 1900 hours, Kathryn approached holodeck two, dressed in a tank top, shorts, and climbing shoes.
"Program Sakic Three is currently running. Enter when ready."
The scenery behind the doors was remarkable, and completely the opposite of what Kathryn thought she would see. The basic scenery was a group of walls. Walls intended for climbing--footholes, hand grips, and obvious obstacles dominated the surface. This was not the mountain and fresh air of a spring day that she expected.
"Welcome to my second home." Brian, also in a tank top, shorts, and special shoes, approached Kathryn.
"This is not what I thought it would be."
"What, you expected a huge mountain to climb?"
"That's exactly what I thought."
"Well, that's what people usually assume when I tell them that I'm a rock climber. However, the Rock Gym is much better in my opinion."
"Rock Gym?"
"That's what I call it," Brian said with a smile.
"Oh."
"Shall we?"
"Uh...sure."
"All right then. We don't need any equipment. The holodeck safeties are on."
"Oh."
"Wanna warm up?"
"Yeah."
Both began with sitting on the floor and doing leg stretches.
"So, Brian. How long have you been climbing?"
"Nearly all of my life. As far back as I remember. How long has it been since you started bungy jumping?"
"I started at fifteen. I first did it to prepare myself for suicide."
Brian was nothing less than shocked. How could this woman speak words like that so calmly? "Suicide?" His fingers ran through his jet-black hair as his mind pondered what to say next. "This surely has a story behind it-"
"That I don't want to talk about," Kathryn finished.
Reluctant to start forcing something out of her, Brian said "All right. That's fine. Let's change the subject."
Dropping into a calve stretch, the petite woman's strawberry-blond hair fell in front of her face. "To what?"
"Wow."
Kathryn sat up. "What?"
Still amazed, Brian stated "You're so flexible!"
A daunting moment of silence passed until Kathryn broke it with a giggle. "Oh, Brian. You really do know how to make a memorable moment."
The fingers ran through the same head of jet-black hair. "Well, at least I can make you laugh."
"You're among the few who can."
Smiles came up on both of their faces.
"Well, let's start. I'll spot you coming up."
Starting on a nearby wall, Kathryn stepped onto a foothole and grabbed small pieces of rock with her hands. Diligently, she made her way a few feet above the ground.
As soon as he knew Kathryn was becoming used to the concept of rock climbing, he followed next to her. As soon as he reached the same height as her, he said "You're doing exceptionally well for a beginner."
"This is easy," Kathryn commented. "I find it relaxing. There's a certain joy to it that eases my mind."
"I can tell. For the first time since I've been your roommate, I don't feel like you're going to sever my head if I speak."
"What does that mean?"
Brian paused. "I'm not too sure. Nevermind."
"Oh no you don't."
"All right, I'm guilty. But I'm sure you won't want to talk about it. Unless, of course-"
"I knew this was a stupid idea!" Kathryn began climbing downward.
"So much for relaxation," Brian muttered under his breath.
"Shut up! You of all people don't have the slightest idea of who I am!" With five feet left, Kathryn jumped the rest of the way down and ran out of the holodeck.
Kathryn still ran, but to no clear destination. Coming to her...er, their quarters wouldn't be smart. That's the first place Brian would consider going to, and she didn't even want to see his face right now.
*I blew it. I really blew it.* Why was it so hard for Kathryn to accept friendship? *Why do I reject everyone who opens up, or at least tries to open up, to me?* Well, there was one person that wouldn't turn away a soul on this ship. Kathryn rang the bell to Commander Reed's quarters.
"Kathryn! I'm surprised to see you!" She took a look at the young woman's face. "You poor thing. Something's bothering you to death. Come inside and tell me about it."
Entering Tanya's quarters, Kathryn asked "I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"
"Not at all. Sit down. Do you want anything to drink?"
"No, thank you."
"Well, then." Tanya took a seat next to Kathryn on her couch. "What's going on in your world?"
Kathryn took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly as she tried organizing how she would tell her story. "Well, first of all, thanks for listening. I know I'm not among the most amicable on this ship, but you seemed like the best person to talk to."
"I'm glad you came to me, Kathryn. I'm always here."
"Thanks," Kathryn said with the smallest hint of a smile. "Here's the situation, Commander Reed-"
"Tanya. We're not on duty now, are we?"
"Okay, Tanya." It seemed so weird to be calling the first officer by her first name. "I've completely ruined the chance of actually having a good friendship with someone that I actually had a chance of having one with."
"Who is this person?"
"My roommate, Brian Sakic."
"Ah yes, he's in stellar cartography, isn't he? The shy and quiet one, if I remember correctly."
"Yes, that's him."
"Go on."
"Well, today has been absolutely horrible. No activity whatsoever in the transporter room. It was nerve-racking, the silence was. When I finally got off duty, I went down to the holodeck to reserve some time. Everything was full. I come to my quarters, let off some steam, and Brian comes in."
Curious, Tanya asked "How exactly did you 'let off some steam?'"
A little hesitant, Kathryn responded "I broke Brian's glass elephant."
"Ah, and I'm sure he wasn't too happy about this."
"No, but breaking that thing felt good." Tanya heard Kathryn mutter "It was hideous-looking anyway."
Ignoring that last comment, Tanya inquired "So then what happened?"
A sigh came from the distraught girl and then she continued. "Well, Brian coaxed the story out of me and then invited me to join him during his holodeck time. I came to the holodeck right on time to find that he was rock climbing. Not on a mountain, but a wall. A wall."
Tanya nodded, taking note that the repeated mentioning of the wall was an important detail.
"That really threw me off. When things like that happen, it really affects me. I don't know why. All I know is that they do. Anyway, things were going really well for awhile. Rock climbing was a very neat experience, and Brian even said that I was doing good, especially for a first-timer. But then he started butting into my life like he usually does and began asking a series of questions I knew would lead to telling him more than I'd ever think of revealing to him."
A long moment of silence followed. Kathryn couldn't think of anything to add to the story and Tanya was analyzing everything she had been told.
"You're scared, honey."
"What?"
"You're scared!"
"I am not."
"Listen to my views of what I think is going on before you deny it all, OK? You came for someone to talk to, right? I'm here to help."
Kathryn nodded.
"Now, I think that the only problem you have here is that you won't open up to Brian. You're afraid to see what he would think of the real you. The truth is, Kathryn, that you're doing more harm than good when it comes down to the bottom line. Brian is a really sweet guy. He's your roommate and he wants to be comfortable with you and vice-versa, but you're not letting that happen. Doing that means no more than you blowing up and breaking more glass animals of Brian's. He'll start becoming very frustrated with you, girl, and if both of you give up, being each other's roommate will be miserable." Tanya took a much-needed breath of air. She hoped that Kathryn wasn't becoming angry, but continued whether she was or not. "Brian cares about you, hon, and he wants to be your friend. I think you care about him, too. Don't you?"
"Well, yes, I do. He is a great guy."
"Then what you need to do is return to your quarters, tell him that you're sorry, and simply talk to him. This will really help both of you." Quick pause. "Oh, and if you think it's appropriate, give him a hug."
"A hug might be pushing it."
"Promise me that you'll do it if you feel comfortable enough."
A hesitant response of "okay" came out.
"All right then. Do you feel ready?"
Kathryn smiled. "Yes."
"Practice that hug on me." Tanya stood up, with Kathryn hesitating again. Tanya opened her arms out and Kathryn slowly but surely found it in herself to give a hug. It had been so long.
"You're ready. You can do it, Kathryn."
"Thank you, Tanya."
"Let me know how things turn out, okay?"
"I promise." Kathryn smiled, returning Tanya's, and exited the room.
Kathryn paused, still unsure of what she would say to Brian. This felt awkward already. Maybe it wasn't too late to back out. No, it wasn't, and maybe all it would take to resolve this little problem is asking the captain for a switch of living quarters.
Kathryn keyed in the code to enter her...no, their quarters.
Brian sat on the couch, still in his climbing gear. He was reading something on a PADD. As his roommate approached him, he didn't bother looking up at her.
"Brian?"
"What?" He didn't seem very interested in what Kathryn was planning on saying. Surely, she was about to make a speech on how he was at fault for butting into her life and trying to be friendly.
"I'm a fool."
Maybe this *was* something worth hearing. "Why?"
"It's pretty obvious, isn't it? I lashed out at you for no reason when you were really just trying to help me. And on more than one instance. I'm pretty uncomfortable with all this, so I'm sorry if my apology is weak."
Brian simply stared at her. "No. Don't be sorry at all. You were right when you said that I didn't have the slightest idea of who you were. I don't have any right to ask about things you aren't willing-"
"Maybe that's the very heart of the problem." Kathryn's small body sat next to Brian's slightly larger form. "I'm very reluctant to speak about why I am who I am. Only a few minutes ago did I realize that I'm making a horrible mistake by not being open to people like you who actually care." Speaking those words soon shocked her. Nothing had ever caused her to speak this way.
"I'm your friend, Kathryn. At least, I'd like to be."
"Then let's simply talk with each other. About anything."
Brian smiled. "You pick the topic and we'll see where it takes us."
"Okay..." Kathryn considered herself nothing of a conversationalist, and hadn't talked one-on-one with someone for years. This would be difficult, but this chance at turning the tables of 'the norm' couldn't fail. It just couldn't! But that meant taking on dangerous ground that Kathryn wasn't sure she was ready to reveal to another person. It was already too late. *Either tell nothing or tell all,* Kathryn decided in her mind. "Well, you want to know about my past? I'll tell you now if you want."
"Only if you're ready."
The body next to Brian's shifted, as though it were uncomfortable. "Here goes." Pause. "Everything in my life was just fine until the day my older brother, Tom, died due to a series of injuries he got in a hoverball game. I was thirteen, and he was my best friend. We did everything as far back as I remember together...and then he was gone. Nothing was the same after that. The two years after that were depressing. Not only was Tom gone, but my parents were very overprotective. I hardly did anything--not even school--from the age of thirteen to fifteen. And the strangest part of it all was that my parents didn't seem to care. They just let me be." Kathryn paused for a moment, realizing that the more she spoke, the easier it was to tell the story. "Then during the summer when I turned fifteen, my parents died in a shuttle wreck. Something happened to the pilot of the shuttle and they were pulled into a planet's gravity. After they died, I was really numb at first, and I took advantage of it by working. I arranged my parent's funeral, notified everybody of what happened, and took care of everything that had to be done. I decided that I would stay in my parent's house and live on my own. When the workload slowed down, though, everything set in. I realized that I was alone. I had no family left, no friends....not even a pet. That's when I started bungy jumping. I was depressed for awhile, then normal, then angry, and then very bored. That's when I decided that I wanted to join Starfleet. I was given a life, so why not make the most of it instead of ending it, right? I thought it was a step in the right direction."
Brian was still sinking everything in but his roommate's last sentence caught his attention. "You *thought* it was a step in the right direction?"
Quickly correcting herself, Kathryn replied "Well it *was.* It's just that I hadn't considered some things before taking the entrance exams and actually making it in."
"Like what?"
"Well, dealing with people so much, mostly. I had been completely alone for two years and was mostly with my parents for the two years before that. I was a hermit," Kathryn admitted, "and I had literally forgotten how to deal with people. It wasn't such a problem in the Academy, but it sure is here. I'm used to doing things by myself, and I prefer it that way. I still have a lot of adjusting to do if I'm going to be a worthwhile member of this crew." Kathryn avoided looking at Brian; she knew he was staring directly into her eyes. She had just told someone the story of her past that no one else but he knew directly from her words.
"You really should talk to people more, Kathryn. You might not like the company of others much, but you're an incredible speaker. I understand more about you now than I thought I ever would, Kathryn."
"It's the story of who I am."
Neither of the two could find words to express their emotions. Brian wanted so badly to say that he sympathized with her, that she had every reason to act the way she did. His face must've said the words for him because Kathryn held a smile on her face.
She hadn't felt this good in years. Maybe a decade. Of all the people on this ship to tell her past to, Brian was the perfect choice. He understood and accepted the events that had shaped her personality. He had forgiven her for the things she had done to him personally, like earlier in the evening. He accepted her. Nothing had meant so much to Kathryn in her life.
Instead of speaking, Kathryn moved closer to Brian and wrapped her arms around his back tightly. She breathed in his scent as her head rested on his shoulder. His arms wrapped around her just as affectionately, with his hands combing through Kathryn's long hair.
When Kathryn released the hug, she looked into Brian's eyes as she said "I've never had a friend like you."
Brian smiled at his roommate. "Neither have I."
The next morning at 1300 hours, Kathryn was on her way to the mess hall for lunch. Normally, she would've replicated something and eaten in her quarters, but she knew that someone that she wanted to talk to would be there...and another someone she knew she could talk to.
As she entered the mess hall, she spotted Commander Reed at a table. She was eating lunch alone, to Kathryn's surprise.
"Hello, Tanya."
The commander turned around and smiled at who she saw. "Kathryn! I'm glad you're here! Sit down."
Kathryn did so as Tanya asked "How did it go last night?"
The petite girl smiled. "I gave him a hug."
Tanya smiled back.
Seeing someone out of the corner of her eye, Kathryn said "There's Brian! Would it be all right if I invited him over for lunch?"
"The more, the merrier!"
Ensign Mayes eagerly walked over to Ensign Sakic as Tanya smiled and watched from her chair. "There's nothing like friendship," she said to no one, although it applied to everyone.