The Ballad of Laura Holt

Why is it that every man
Wants to hurt me just as much as he can?

There have been two men
That I've loved in my life--
That is, before him
One was a strong man, a big man, a kind man
I remember being with him
Going to circuses, sitting in an old easy chair
Every minute was precious
He was my father
The other was Wilson--
He was a banker
Serious and predictable
He couldn't stand my wild ways
Wait--in the end, I guess he wasn't so predictable
Because I never saw him leaving me
Yes, both of them left me when I needed them most
I was left alone

My mother, she pushes
Marriage and children she cries
It's easy in theory, but how do I find someone
When it seems that no man can love me?

I've toned down my wild ways
I'm all business and I'm just fine alone
At least that's what I tell myself
Even on those nights when I feel
This hole inside of me
And this Laura trying to break free

I'm a detective you know
An unusual job for a woman
That's why I invented him
Well, with the help of Berniece and Murphy, of course
That's how all this started--
With a typewriter and a football team

He came into my life nameless
Putting on names like other people put on clothes
He took my name and made it his
So smoothly, so easily
I didn't understand what it would do to me

Blue, blue eyes, and coal black hair
Tall and lean and beautiful
His smile would make angels sing
His voice could melt the Ice Queen
That's what walked into my life
How was I expected to say no?
But I'm so scared

I think I love him
I know I need him
How can I keep on fighting?
All I want is a chance to...
No, Laura, forget it
Remington Steele is just another name to him
But I wish...

Help me, I don't think I can go on this way
Now Murphy and Berniece are gone
And the two of us work so closely together
Every day I want to throw my arms around him and beg him to stay
Every day I want to fall to my knees and beg him to just go away

I can't hold out much longer
I almost gave in today
The look in his eyes
The invitation in his voice
It's so persuasive
But I'm so scared
Why am I so scared?

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